Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
