Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
