I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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