Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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