he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize