his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
