Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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