Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
