So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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