if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
