I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
