so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
