there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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