I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
this just has baby written all over it
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
