what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
