At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
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stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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