i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
