My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
