The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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