People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my sisters under your porch take her home
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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