Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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