i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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