Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
