she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
