OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
