Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
