Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
