Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
