If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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