That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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