You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
