You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize