I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
