soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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