I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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