I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
