I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
birth control should be required to get into college
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Im part way to drunk.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
