just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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