You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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