no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
