You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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