If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
