You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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