why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
