I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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