I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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