I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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