Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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