You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
