Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
