the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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