So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
