Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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