glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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