Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
