You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
