I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
