Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
