Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i can't believe i had my finger in that
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.