plz talk dirty to me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night