Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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