I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
