...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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