just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
True strength comes from lack of pants
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
