Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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